OLD BLASTARD: Don’t in-deer yourself on the sidestreets

You beeping at me?

Scraggily and spindly and obviously the  venison version of a pre-teen, Fawn ran out of the neighbor's hedge and straight into the curve where Brandywine Drive meets Brandywine Drive and turns into Greenbrier Drive.

Hell, no wonder the poor thing was confused.

Anyway, I'm a slow guy, in so  many different ways, and I ride a slow bike so I had plenty of time to react, even in the curve. After all, I was only doing 5  mph over the limit. Had I been on a bike with a full set of cajones, however, I would likely have been leaned just as much and going faster and may have found myself dead center of Bambi's baby.

And I do mean dead-center. Deer are everywhere all of the time now, as humans encroach on their territory and build those cool 3-acre lots with lots of greenspace and walking trails that deer love so much. In the Greenbrier neighborhood, working being done on the Meadowcreek Interceptor sewer system is disturbing the vegetation-munching monsters and sending them into back yards and roads on a regular basis.

It's not just a city-county problem. Deer-vehicle wrecks have risen nearly 18 percent per year in many states over the past few years, according to a variety of studies, but the numbers don't mean squat if you hit one. Last year, on my way to a safety class at Central Virginia Motorcycle School in Orange, the deer were so heavy on Route 20 that I had to slow my bike to 35 mph because that's all the harder I wanted to hit them.

Doe, a deer, a homicidal deer....

The Nebraska state game folks have such a problem with deer and cars that they released a tip sheet to give drivers a headsup. Here's what they recommend:

When driving near wooded lots, creeks, or where crops are still standing, especially during evening or early morning, reduce your speed and watch for deer. That includes areas around the Rivanna Trail, through Carrsbrook and those areas.

When you spot a deer, assume there will be others in the same area, either ahead of or behind the one you have seen. After all, they travel in herds, much like sportbikers on a Saturday night on U.S. 29.

Be prepared to stop suddenly, just like they were soccer moms on cell phones yelling at the kids in the back of the minivan.

Just because there's no deer crossing sign, doesn't mean deer won't cross. How often do you cut across the street instead of using the crosswalk?

Deer act much like me when I'm trying to figure out what chore to accomplish next. They false start, turn around, perseverate and finally run away. In headlights they may freeze, dart into your path, run away, run away and about face straight into you.

Honk your horn and flash your headlights to frighten deer away from the side of the road.

Anticipate the possibility of a deer unexpectedly crossing in front of you and plan ahead. Prepare to use your bag of avoidance techniques, including  swerving, turning or braking if a deer suddenly appears.

Be careful out there. Deer are tasty, but only after they're cooked.